About the author
Still looking up
I come from a family of spiritual warriors.
I grew up in church — real church, the kind where my mom could be doing dishes and just start singing a hymn like it was nothing. My aunts held conferences on the Holy Spirit. My cousin says we have spooky family. She means it literally. Visions, prophetic dreams, another cousin who can look at a person and see something dark on them that nobody else can see.
And then there’s me.
I know all the songs. I know all the catch phrases. I have sat in the prayer circle and held hands and bowed my head and my brain went: okay, pray. Pray pray pray. Hi God. Uh. Pray pray pray. Nothing.
I feel like I know how it’s supposed to go. I just cannot quite get there, and for most of my life I thought that meant something was wrong with me.
Why this space exists
Questions belong here
So I’m going on a journey. I’m digging through the Bible, asking my hard questions, and using my AI, Molly, to dig deep into the different translations and original texts to see what God is really saying, and try to figure out where I fit in with all of this.
If you’re in the same boat pull up a chair. You’re in the right place.
Scripture
Religious trauma
Honest questions
Seeking God
A note from Kimberly
You are not alone
Still Looking Up is a warm, thoughtful place for curious seekers, especially people who grew up in church and still have questions. It is for readers carrying complicated church history, spiritual longing, and a desire to keep looking anyway.
The writing here is personal, honest, and grounded. It makes room for scripture, doubt, healing, and the slow work of finding God beyond pressure, performance, or easy answers.
You’re not the only one asking these questions.
Kimberly Baughn Sutkin
Whether you found this site through TikTok, a late-night search, or a quiet nudge to keep seeking, I hope these words help you feel less alone and more free to bring your full self to the journey.